West Ham

All posts tagged West Ham

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink

Published March 10, 2012 by travellingtrace

How awesome would it be to have the life of a WAG? Well one fateful night in Dubai and we very nearly came close! We don’t just socialise with the lower classes, me and Jewsconsin. No we headed for the classiest joint in town, clad in our ‘New Look’ bargain bin dresses, with about enough cash for two drinks each max and swanned in like we owned the place biatch!

We don’t really pay when we go out, meself and herself. A blend of her bootylicious American ass and my bubbalicious Irish boobs, the combination of two white blonde gals and the fact that we’d entertain just about anyone’s tepid attempts at a chat up line just long enough to get a cocktail bought.

We outdid ourselves this particular night. Captain of West Ham United himself Mr Kevin Nolan  came over for a chin wag. Lovely fella I have to say but he’s from Liverpool and with that accent and the pumping tunes of LMFAO blaring down her earholes poor Jewsconsin was having big trouble deciphering Kevin’s dulcet Scouse tones. Jewsconsin’s View

We then made our way to the dancefloor and met some fine looking Latino lovlies who double as cabin crew for Emirates. Ended up at a session at their house. All the men were topless. There was no explanation given for this behaviour. If that happened in Ireland I’d be hollering ‘Jaysus lads no one needs to see that, put it away fellas’. I tell you honestly, no such words needed to be uttered this night 😉

After partying till dawn, we got a lift home from a chap who offered to take us to Abu Dhabi. Merely a quick spin 45 mins away, who knew!? But since a) we didn’t know this dude and b) we were still dressed in our bargain bin dresses (minus the heels and with that oh so sexy ‘I’ve been dancing all night there’s a slight air of sweaty fuzz to my hair’ look) we decided to head on home.

It was 6am

We were in the limbo that can only be described as “drunkover” (not quite drunk but nearly starting the hangover). Breakfast, we thought. Breakfast will stave the hangover!

Dressed in our luscious pyjamas we headed on over to the dining room.

No one else was in PJs.

We knew it was time to go to bed, but we desperately didn’t want a hangover and we needed food. So we decided to bring the food back to the room… I’m gonna let Jewsconsin tell you the rest. It might be used against me in a court of law if I discuss it you see :/

The morning after the night before

And our farewell…

Goodbye Dubai